Sometimes we tend to be in denial really often,
thinking that we can undo what was done,
thinking that maybe things would turn and change,
thinking that life can still be the same.
What we dont know was,
that these werent the reality,
just something you desire,
somemthing you wished for and craved for,
something you like to convience yourself its true.
Where's that real part of me?
Where is the part of me that is expressing the real feeling?
Why can't I feel any of those.
Why am I so confused standing here,
by myself.
Do I deserve this?
Do I even deserve love?
Please can someone please tell me what to do?
Can someone please?
Showing posts with label apart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label apart. Show all posts
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Monday, October 8, 2012
Men's Hormone and Desires
Why don't you ever think about how others feel? Why does the world always evolve around you and only you? I know according to you the relationship involved not just one but two of us and with the two of us, two opinions must be shared.
It’s true, all the things you stated, and they are true. But how much of my thoughts are within your thoughts when you conclude “we” and “us” in each and every one of your sentences, and how much of “you” or “I” is included in that sentence?
Everyone is greedy in their own way, they just don’t notice. Even when it comes to the nicest people, they have some greedy somewhere upon them that they just don’t show but it’s still there.
I hate how you thread me with your insecure, and use it as excuse each time when you want to know something or when you want to do something. Sex is simply an action, an action many men tends to pray for and desire much especially from their other half, and if not, from a girl. Many desire strongly to a point where they lose their senses and others just have those sudden male hormone rush that take over their mind. But for whatever it is, girls like us are the ones who suffer.
With a man threaten to take your virginity away because he claimed without taking it away from his girlfriend he feels insecure, someone tell me what kind of logic is behind such sense? In what universe is that a kind of acceptable logic to people? Perhaps to men it’s someone sensible, more like a great excuse to take it away, but to girls, it’s a threat, a set of black mail, and forceful way of saying, “Hey! If you don’t hand over your virginity to me and have sex with me, I will break up with you or cheat on you, or if I find a girl who can do the things you can’t I will leave you and do it with her.”
Like seriously, did all the traditional men suddenly die or something? Or is it just greedy that men tend to grow when the relationship is overtime? It’s only been nearly the end of our 3rd month being together, and I am being responsible for giving him my virginity, and according to him waiting a year is too long? Wow, what am I to you? The love of your life or some temporary toy you want to use as a sex machine? Honestly, because I don’t know either.
It’s true, all the things you stated, and they are true. But how much of my thoughts are within your thoughts when you conclude “we” and “us” in each and every one of your sentences, and how much of “you” or “I” is included in that sentence?
Everyone is greedy in their own way, they just don’t notice. Even when it comes to the nicest people, they have some greedy somewhere upon them that they just don’t show but it’s still there.
I hate how you thread me with your insecure, and use it as excuse each time when you want to know something or when you want to do something. Sex is simply an action, an action many men tends to pray for and desire much especially from their other half, and if not, from a girl. Many desire strongly to a point where they lose their senses and others just have those sudden male hormone rush that take over their mind. But for whatever it is, girls like us are the ones who suffer.
With a man threaten to take your virginity away because he claimed without taking it away from his girlfriend he feels insecure, someone tell me what kind of logic is behind such sense? In what universe is that a kind of acceptable logic to people? Perhaps to men it’s someone sensible, more like a great excuse to take it away, but to girls, it’s a threat, a set of black mail, and forceful way of saying, “Hey! If you don’t hand over your virginity to me and have sex with me, I will break up with you or cheat on you, or if I find a girl who can do the things you can’t I will leave you and do it with her.”
Like seriously, did all the traditional men suddenly die or something? Or is it just greedy that men tend to grow when the relationship is overtime? It’s only been nearly the end of our 3rd month being together, and I am being responsible for giving him my virginity, and according to him waiting a year is too long? Wow, what am I to you? The love of your life or some temporary toy you want to use as a sex machine? Honestly, because I don’t know either.
The second of 8th.
It's three forty in the morning, and things were falling into places but at the same time falling apart.
Calling him having him pick up and getting out of bed is sweet and all. But sticking with the lies hurts me like being cut my a knife. Why can't he just tell me the truth? Why does he have to hide things?
Why couldn't he tell me the whole truth rather than half truth. It's true that on Wednesday morning October third Connie texted Danny about having nightmare of Justin Bieber. Having a race w him. Yeah that's true, but what was the other side of truth was that he called her that very morning at two o clock. Telling her about how it begun , how it happened, and when it happened. And she I guess told him more about my family background and me and such thing.
They were texting even before then like everyday sigh why didn't he and won't he tell me.
Why?
Though he now promised that he will never text to her, exception after my birthday (that secret prom recreation in the park he was trying to make. But seriously buying me a hollister dress and forcing me to wear it at night in the park is terrible.)
HA HA HA! (:
Well
There goes the end
Of the new beginning.
The second of 8th, if you ever wonder it means OCT ober 2nd indirectly.
It have an indirect meaning but we ll see and find out how it goes.
But if you end up finding my blog one day, please think all the things I wrote thru even though I doubt you will ever find it even tho it's in public.
" there's always bumps in a relationship, it can be happy, sad, but it's what's in the middle that is what we will remember."
Why did he say he never called her ? When in fact he did. Why?
Why?
Calling him having him pick up and getting out of bed is sweet and all. But sticking with the lies hurts me like being cut my a knife. Why can't he just tell me the truth? Why does he have to hide things?
Why couldn't he tell me the whole truth rather than half truth. It's true that on Wednesday morning October third Connie texted Danny about having nightmare of Justin Bieber. Having a race w him. Yeah that's true, but what was the other side of truth was that he called her that very morning at two o clock. Telling her about how it begun , how it happened, and when it happened. And she I guess told him more about my family background and me and such thing.
They were texting even before then like everyday sigh why didn't he and won't he tell me.
Why?
Though he now promised that he will never text to her, exception after my birthday (that secret prom recreation in the park he was trying to make. But seriously buying me a hollister dress and forcing me to wear it at night in the park is terrible.)
HA HA HA! (:
Well
There goes the end
Of the new beginning.
The second of 8th, if you ever wonder it means OCT ober 2nd indirectly.
It have an indirect meaning but we ll see and find out how it goes.
But if you end up finding my blog one day, please think all the things I wrote thru even though I doubt you will ever find it even tho it's in public.
" there's always bumps in a relationship, it can be happy, sad, but it's what's in the middle that is what we will remember."
Why did he say he never called her ? When in fact he did. Why?
Why?
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Trust.
Like let's all be honest here. What is trust exactly? Is it a object? No. A feeling? No. Then what in the world is it?
Its funny how things turns out, how once trust is lost its nearly impossible to get back.
It's true.
Why do lie? Friendly lies can never hurt anyone they say, ha what a lie. Regardless of whether it's friendly or not, lying is lying and to me it's a part of trust you had in that person that is lost.
Relationships builds on trust, and when you grow doubts in a person, you will soon realize your mistake and:or hope they do the same too.
Dear the one I cared for dearly ,
I am terribly sorry for lying to you: it wasn't from your best friend's random message scrolling that caught my eyes. It was the wonder curiosity and the stalking mode girlfriends tend to have hidden within them that got to this. While you were eating and chatting w your best friend downstairs and entrusting your phone w me, I looked through it and checked your message, at first was just to pass the time but then after staring at the menu for nearly 15 minutes I realize you texted my best friend.
Though you promised you wouldn't text her, though you promised you wouldn't lie, you still texted her and lied to me about it.
My pure stupidity lead me to this, yes definitely.
I should've known, why did I make it do obvious? I could have faked emotions like how I did it in high school yet I didn't. Oh silly me.
I confronted him, told him that during his best friends message scrolling I saw her last text was at October 3rd Wednesday. He told me that he thought when I said not to text her? That replying didn't count as texting her. How the heck is it not? I asked him if he texted her inbetween from the time where I told him to stop texting her to the time where they last texted , Wednesday , and he said no.
I wouldn't have bought it even if I didn't see it for myself, but then I did, which make me realize something, that he have crappy lies, How does he expect me to buy that?
He told me that she texted him about her nightmare and that was it, they never texted before that.
And I was like oh so randomly, out of no where, in between the time where I told you not to text her a month ago till Wednesday you guys never texted?
"yup"
And out of no where she just decided to text you that she have a nightmare?
"yeah, how's that not possible? Kheysayc called me out of no where during class about hanging out and we never talked after skills."
That's freaking different, I know I am at wrong too for stalking him and reading partial messages, but it's not like lying isn't wrong, especially when he promised yesterday about the fact that he will never lie.
Then he said something that really got me. Even if I did I could have just erased it and you wouldn't know that it happened.
True.
True.
Sigh.
So what is trust then?
Its funny how things turns out, how once trust is lost its nearly impossible to get back.
It's true.
Why do lie? Friendly lies can never hurt anyone they say, ha what a lie. Regardless of whether it's friendly or not, lying is lying and to me it's a part of trust you had in that person that is lost.
Relationships builds on trust, and when you grow doubts in a person, you will soon realize your mistake and:or hope they do the same too.
Dear the one I cared for dearly ,
I am terribly sorry for lying to you: it wasn't from your best friend's random message scrolling that caught my eyes. It was the wonder curiosity and the stalking mode girlfriends tend to have hidden within them that got to this. While you were eating and chatting w your best friend downstairs and entrusting your phone w me, I looked through it and checked your message, at first was just to pass the time but then after staring at the menu for nearly 15 minutes I realize you texted my best friend.
Though you promised you wouldn't text her, though you promised you wouldn't lie, you still texted her and lied to me about it.
My pure stupidity lead me to this, yes definitely.
I should've known, why did I make it do obvious? I could have faked emotions like how I did it in high school yet I didn't. Oh silly me.
I confronted him, told him that during his best friends message scrolling I saw her last text was at October 3rd Wednesday. He told me that he thought when I said not to text her? That replying didn't count as texting her. How the heck is it not? I asked him if he texted her inbetween from the time where I told him to stop texting her to the time where they last texted , Wednesday , and he said no.
I wouldn't have bought it even if I didn't see it for myself, but then I did, which make me realize something, that he have crappy lies, How does he expect me to buy that?
He told me that she texted him about her nightmare and that was it, they never texted before that.
And I was like oh so randomly, out of no where, in between the time where I told you not to text her a month ago till Wednesday you guys never texted?
"yup"
And out of no where she just decided to text you that she have a nightmare?
"yeah, how's that not possible? Kheysayc called me out of no where during class about hanging out and we never talked after skills."
That's freaking different, I know I am at wrong too for stalking him and reading partial messages, but it's not like lying isn't wrong, especially when he promised yesterday about the fact that he will never lie.
Then he said something that really got me. Even if I did I could have just erased it and you wouldn't know that it happened.
True.
True.
Sigh.
So what is trust then?
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