Confused and lost in denial..

Sometimes we tend to be in denial really often,
thinking that we can undo what was done,
thinking that maybe things would turn and change,
thinking that life can still be the same.

What we dont know was,
that these werent the reality,
just something you desire,
somemthing you wished for and craved for,
something you like to convience yourself its true.

Where's that real part of me?
Where is the part of me that is expressing the real feeling?
Why can't I feel any of those.
Why am I so confused standing here,
by myself.

Do I deserve this?
Do I even deserve love?
Please can someone please tell me what to do?
Can someone please?

Greed.

Life is unbelievable. Greed take up everything. They take up what your family thinks what your friends thinks sometimes causes to useless troubles. But then again ,what are humans without trouble and greed? That's something we obviously cannot live without. Our emotion tends to drive us to ends. Our greedy self would tend to back us up making us think of the unfair and make ourselves the pity one while that may not be the whole truth itself. It's silly how a person thinks, how they think their all fair and justice and judge others all they want when in reality they themselves cannot do better. It's a stupid life concept but then people still do it regardless.
Where's that pure soul from long ago? The untainted soul, the one that sparkles and shines so bright. The one that our society will crush and ignore? It already seem impossible enough for me to find myself a great friend who will be there for me regardless, and now there's this?
I tend to wonder where our society goes to. Why this why that? Where's the real answer. Am I stupid? Shouldn't I be satisfied already with the result? No. Well I guess human never intended to change. And the best they can do would probably be self realization.