Sometimes we tend to be in denial really often,
thinking that we can undo what was done,
thinking that maybe things would turn and change,
thinking that life can still be the same.
What we dont know was,
that these werent the reality,
just something you desire,
somemthing you wished for and craved for,
something you like to convience yourself its true.
Where's that real part of me?
Where is the part of me that is expressing the real feeling?
Why can't I feel any of those.
Why am I so confused standing here,
by myself.
Do I deserve this?
Do I even deserve love?
Please can someone please tell me what to do?
Can someone please?
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
Money status.
I look around, and found myself where I started,
the around looks so strange to me,
maybe its because I am not used to this.
The people I thought I knew before
the places I thought I been before,
they're all gone,
shattered,
and disappeared .
I thought that she, among everyone else knew me the best,
but then maybe, family, not by purely just dont do.
When its not pure, jealousy will be in the way,
thus cause the inner war, that was never to be set.
Was it wrong to stick with what I have believed in?
Was in wrong to think that maybe, just maybe money value is more different?
Maybe some people are right,
money do change people,
money to control people.
when you have a lot of money,
when you're wealthy,
the little you give, counts a lot, and thus makes you the kindest.
when you have a little money,
and you give as much as you can,
or maybe, sometimes just that thought,
people may think you're greedy,
and just turn aside and talk behind your back.
Money status,
money status,
in the year 2012 and beyond,
it may be everything.
What is money status?
the around looks so strange to me,
maybe its because I am not used to this.
The people I thought I knew before
the places I thought I been before,
they're all gone,
shattered,
and disappeared .
I thought that she, among everyone else knew me the best,
but then maybe, family, not by purely just dont do.
When its not pure, jealousy will be in the way,
thus cause the inner war, that was never to be set.
Was it wrong to stick with what I have believed in?
Was in wrong to think that maybe, just maybe money value is more different?
Maybe some people are right,
money do change people,
money to control people.
when you have a lot of money,
when you're wealthy,
the little you give, counts a lot, and thus makes you the kindest.
when you have a little money,
and you give as much as you can,
or maybe, sometimes just that thought,
people may think you're greedy,
and just turn aside and talk behind your back.
Money status,
money status,
in the year 2012 and beyond,
it may be everything.
What is money status?
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
College Fresh Journal 1
College, such a strange term, higher education they say, but to me things are worst in college than in high school. In all the classes, I tend to felt left out, everyone there have so many friends, and even in class, meanwhile I on the other hand always seem like the one who is left out, the one who doesnt belong in the group. I often ask myself, what is the cause? Is it my fault? Am I just not socially fit to be around?
Everytime when me and my group of friends I met in college hang out, eventually as we walk together, the group will start forming two by twos, and then I will be the extra thrid, or the lonely one, but rarely the two by twos. Sometimes I get jealous, and sometimes I am just simply confused, why arent I able to be in groups with them? Then some sudden realization hit me, I am just not cut for it.
But when today, missing a test in college japanese class, I got two text from two different friends, asking for my where abouts, and telling me, reminding me that there's a test today. I suddenly felt so warm inside, so happy. It's those unexpected thoughts that makes up for your terrible day. All of a sudden, I felt my importance.
Thank you Nat, Josh. Forever grateful to have you guys around me.
Everytime when me and my group of friends I met in college hang out, eventually as we walk together, the group will start forming two by twos, and then I will be the extra thrid, or the lonely one, but rarely the two by twos. Sometimes I get jealous, and sometimes I am just simply confused, why arent I able to be in groups with them? Then some sudden realization hit me, I am just not cut for it.
But when today, missing a test in college japanese class, I got two text from two different friends, asking for my where abouts, and telling me, reminding me that there's a test today. I suddenly felt so warm inside, so happy. It's those unexpected thoughts that makes up for your terrible day. All of a sudden, I felt my importance.
Thank you Nat, Josh. Forever grateful to have you guys around me.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Promises
GOD DAMN IT BLOGGER. LOST MY THREE PARAGRAPH BLOG. I HATE MOBILE VERSION NOW DAMN IT!
Promises, what are promises? What are promises suppose to be? A joke? A thing to forget almost instantly? If you were to promise someone something then why would you forget it? Shouldn't you care enough to remember what is it and achieve it? Shouldn't you put it into priority before everything else that aren't a promise?
Promise is such a down fall in humanity. People trust them, and then they fall. People who doesn't trust then will end up alone. So what can we possibly do? If people would be more trustworthy then this world may be better off.
But then again, what is promises? A pinky? A thumb? A thought? Or a heart? how much efforts are you willing to put into a promise? By putting effort it doesn't just mean achieve it and maintain it but to actually remember it forever. Even though they promise things and we as the people they promise to should remind them but then shouldn't they remember it better than us? Not because their the ones doing it but because their the ones who promised it prior to us who didn't.
And then there's the other thing, denying. Denying is the worst among the worst of all promises. "Hey. You promised me this this this..." Next thing you know they smirk and go "don't be stupid, I never did such thing" yeah you may regret ever believing in them but honestly what can you do? Nothing. You can just sigh there and question yourself on why you do that. Sometimes I wish that things like this wouldn't happen. Sometimes I wish a promise can last. Last and happen.
Until next time.
Promises, what are promises? What are promises suppose to be? A joke? A thing to forget almost instantly? If you were to promise someone something then why would you forget it? Shouldn't you care enough to remember what is it and achieve it? Shouldn't you put it into priority before everything else that aren't a promise?
Promise is such a down fall in humanity. People trust them, and then they fall. People who doesn't trust then will end up alone. So what can we possibly do? If people would be more trustworthy then this world may be better off.
But then again, what is promises? A pinky? A thumb? A thought? Or a heart? how much efforts are you willing to put into a promise? By putting effort it doesn't just mean achieve it and maintain it but to actually remember it forever. Even though they promise things and we as the people they promise to should remind them but then shouldn't they remember it better than us? Not because their the ones doing it but because their the ones who promised it prior to us who didn't.
And then there's the other thing, denying. Denying is the worst among the worst of all promises. "Hey. You promised me this this this..." Next thing you know they smirk and go "don't be stupid, I never did such thing" yeah you may regret ever believing in them but honestly what can you do? Nothing. You can just sigh there and question yourself on why you do that. Sometimes I wish that things like this wouldn't happen. Sometimes I wish a promise can last. Last and happen.
Until next time.
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