Realization

It took me long enough, but I finally realized, sometimes things you desire the most tends to hurt you the most, because deep down you know you won't be able to obtain it. Seeing everyone else with it will just raise up the question of why god is being so unfair and treating people unequally. It's raining outside, I always thought depressing moments were during the rain because itself just adds on this bonus of atmosphere. It's quite funny, arguing with someone whom you thought was close to you and knew you well and then suddenly realize that he actually doesn't know you. Those insecure feelings tends to chill up your spine. Here I am in denial, continuously telling myself that I am spoiled and already have a good enough life and boyfriend. Such a stupid thought, because truthfully no one knows me well. I was so stupid to think that people would understand me completely. I mean even myself doesn't understand me.
Sometimes I wish I could just stand out in the rain and scream and cry, just to let all those guilt and things. Just to release those anger out of my system.
Guys, they never understand girls no matter how much they claim to understand them. Thinking that hanging up when I am I. The bad mood and avoid argument and attitude problem, well he never thought that for 18 years at random time I would wish that there is someone who would be there for me. Thinking that my dad would be is just the worst enough, here comes a stubborn chic who just simply turns.
Sigh, what do I do?

We until then!

Greed.

Life is unbelievable. Greed take up everything. They take up what your family thinks what your friends thinks sometimes causes to useless troubles. But then again ,what are humans without trouble and greed? That's something we obviously cannot live without. Our emotion tends to drive us to ends. Our greedy self would tend to back us up making us think of the unfair and make ourselves the pity one while that may not be the whole truth itself. It's silly how a person thinks, how they think their all fair and justice and judge others all they want when in reality they themselves cannot do better. It's a stupid life concept but then people still do it regardless.
Where's that pure soul from long ago? The untainted soul, the one that sparkles and shines so bright. The one that our society will crush and ignore? It already seem impossible enough for me to find myself a great friend who will be there for me regardless, and now there's this?
I tend to wonder where our society goes to. Why this why that? Where's the real answer. Am I stupid? Shouldn't I be satisfied already with the result? No. Well I guess human never intended to change. And the best they can do would probably be self realization.

Sex.

How important is sex to girls verses sex to guys? Sticking a penis into someone's vagina, how important is that? Oh yes. To you men out there, it's probably a pleasure to be able to fuck some random girl on the street as long as its in your zone?
To girls losing virginity